Hollywood Headaches: Kelly Osbourne to Christina Aguilera: 'fat bitch'

Kelly Osbourne called Christina Aguilera a "fat bitch" on E!'s "Fashion Police."

"She called me fat for so many fucking years," Osbourne said, "so you know what? Fuck you! You're fat too."

Outfit offense: Aguilera had on fishnets paired with a pantsless onsie at a Michael Jackson tribute concert.

Joan Rivers even jabbed: "Lady Marmalade got into the peanut butter again."

Oh, ladies. Never bring the lbs. into bitchfights. Be the big(ger) person and punch her in the passion instead.

Hollywood hearsay

Ah telly. Your sly parlor tricks don't fool.

By the power of Google, I have the power! (He-Man, layhomies.)

TV Guide hosted a special debunking 25 of Hollywood's urban legends.

The site's promo piqued my curious:

"Was a dead munchkin hanging in the background of a 'Wizard of Oz' scene? Did a combination of Pop Rocks and soda kill Mikey from the Life cereal commercials? Get the truth behind the outrageous tales."

Damn tease. I Googled. That dangling Munchkin gave me the heebie-jeebies as a wee lassie. (Like that "Three Men and a Baby" ghost. Spoiler! It's really a Ted Danson cutout.)

"For years, many exaggerated rumors circulated about the wild behavior of many of the Munchkin actors," Wikipedia told me. "One of the most famous claimed that the completed film shows an actor who played one of the Munchkins committing suicide by hanging in the background of one scene. This has been shown to be false; the object in question is actually a wild crane used in the forest scene."

Eureka, TV Guide. Take that. I'll break your news, bitch.

Oops. The special aired on Monday.

Good talk.

'Sesame' porn

"Mommy, why does that man have Big Bird's beak on his privates? And why is that naked lady making safari noises?"

Oh dear.

"Honey, that's the part of the body men use to tinkle. Come have a Popsicle while we stroll to church to suppress, smother and bury said triggered traum! a."

< p>Over the weekend, the "Sesame Street" YouTube channel turned porn for about 20 minutes.

"We have since restored our original line-up of the best classic 'Sesame Street' video clips featuring Cookie Monster, Big Bird, Grover, Oscar the Grouch, and the rest of the fuzzy, feathered, and googly-eyed friends you remember from childhood," read a statement.

Well tickle me Elmo, statement. Is a googly-eyed friend like that burly one-eyed snake?

Fergalicious definition makes the boys go loco

Us Magazine had a photo of the Black Eyed Peas' Fergie in a one-shoulder dress, asking: "Love It or Hate It?"

Whatever takes the focus off her penis.